Dilemma

Ok: Calling all of my friendly, non-socially retarded friends (April, Erika, Julie, Ashley...hell, um that about sums up my entire readership, so Hi! I need your help.)--

What do I do? Ok. You know the old saga of the "Hot Moms" playgroup? There were a few moms in that group that I really, really liked and there were a couple (or maybe a few) that I really, really didn't like. Unfortunately, the ones that I didn't (or don't, I suppose) like were enough to keep me from ever going back to one of their functions (well, that and the fact that they all spend a lot of money on gifts for each other and expensive wine and snacks whenever they host a get together). So, I haven't been to one of their functions since the Fall and I really haven't looked back. As far as they're concerned, I just dropped off the face of the planet. I did run into one of the ones that I like at a store back in the Winter. She seemed happy to see me and told me that I should really come back to their "group". I told her that I would like to but that, "Life was crazy right now, blah, blah, blah (lying through my teeth) but that I'd love to meet up with just her (hint, hint) for lunch or something sometime". I never followed-through with that.

So, a few weeks ago, I got an email from another one of the moms that I like. She was hosting their playgroup at her house and she wanted me to come. While I really would've liked to have seen her and the other moms that I like, I just couldn't bring myself to go back into that hornet's nest of pretension and snobbery. Compounding that problem is that I can't drink these days (due to the parasitic fetus, taking up residence in my abdomen) and the idea of sitting around and listening to those women complain about their nannies and such, stone-cold-sober makes me get the hives. So, yet again, I gave a general, "Oh, you're so sweet to invite me, but I'm so darn busy--will have to take a raincheck" kind of response.

Ok, this morning, I get an email from the same, like-able mom that invited me to the playgroup a few weeks ago. She's inviting me to yet ANOTHER playgroup--this time in my neighborhood, but at the home of one of the un-likable moms. While I am touched by her tenacity and feel like she really, truly must want me to be a part of their group, I can't bring myself to do it. Now, I feel like I owe this mom more of an explanation for why I don't want to attend their functions, but don't know a tactful way to say, "I really like you and a few others but I really can't stand Viola, Armanda, Saran Wrap, or Heathen...or, while I'm at it, Krispie, Carnie or Hennifer* either. And man, Casserole's kid is really ugly, huh?". So, what kind of answer do I give her this time? Unfortunately, the ones that I really hate the most are this like-able mom's BFF's, so it's not like I can tell her how I feel and expect her to say, "Oh girl. They're just bitches and I hate them too. I completely understand where you're coming from".

Help.

*Surprise! Names have been changed to protect the identity of the bitches