Things That Currently Annoy The Ever-Living Fuck Out Of Me

1. People who put something dumb for their Myspace tagline...such as, "Life isn't measured in the number of breaths you take, it's measured in the number of moments that take your breath away" or "Live Each Day To It's Fullest!!!!!!!!!!!!". God, that Oprah bullshit makes me feel like vomiting.

2. The fact that we've had several cleaning ladies (I've had trouble in the past, finding someone who cleans it the way I like, therefore, we go through them like maxi pads) who go out of their way to turn our comforter upside down and backwards every damn time they make the bed. Our down comforter has a cover on it that has the buttons at the bottom (where you close up the cover, after your put the comforter in it)--and I know that the buttons always go at the foot of the bed from making 743,566 beds while doing the merchandising for Pottery Barn. It also has a little scrolly design that goes at the foot of the bed. When the cleaning lady is coming, I always strip our bed before she gets there and just pull the comforter back, so that she can put clean sheets on and pull it right back up. I'm not sure why so many of these women go out of their way to completely flip the comforter upside down and sometimes even sideways. Weird. (and on that note, I also HATE it when they put the pillows in the pillowcase backwards--meaning that the tags and/or zipper on the naked pillow sticks out the open end of the case--so that you have to wrestle with scratchy tags and zippers while you sleep). I know that by now you're thinking, "lazy bitch, why don't you just clean your house your god damned self?" My answer to you is that I do...as soon as the cleaning lady leaves, I go back and re-do stuff and do the things that she missed. When you live with 5 cats and an infant, you have to be anal retentive about the cleanliness of your home, or at least I do.

3. How every time I get a chance to take a little nap, when the baby is napping, the phone rings. Seriously, it's not even an exaggeration. Sometimes it's someone that I know who calls, which makes me temporarily hate that person and sometimes it's telemarketers. Either way, it always happens just as soon as I've dozed off. And, on that note: I hate the telephone. I don't call people back when they leave me a message. I've always hated the phone, but the older I get, the more I hate it and become hermit-like. I will go out of my way to email someone, just to get out of calling them. I'm not well in the head.